Who is the Coolest Criminal Lawyer of All Time?

Before I get too far out in front of myself, I want to make sure that everyone understands that this is for fun only. Not only do I hope that you never need a criminal lawyer, but I hope that no one you know ever needs a criminal lawyer.

I, however, am a criminal attorney. Because of that, I think of wild and crazy things like this. Oh, and by the way, that's not a picture of me to the right. That's some random guy I found on the internet that I thought looked a lot like a great criminal attorney might. Feel free to gawk without feeling weird.

So, here we go, we're going to talk about who the greatest criminal lawyer of all time is. We're going to use some real people and some fake people, and then I'll let you know who I would take. There will be a poll at the bottom, and I encourage you to take it. So let's get to it!

If you don't know who Jack McCoy is, you've probably been hiding under a rock some where for the last fifteen years or so. He is the figurehead of the television series Law and Order, where he is a no nonsense prosecutor for the state of New York. He seems to win more than he loses, and he always talks a great game.

Though McCoy is a prosecutor, and therefore wouldn't necessarily qualify as a criminal lawyer you could have on your side, I'm still going to include him here. I mean, he's Jack Frickin McCoy! He crushes souls, and no prosecutor would want to go against him if you could get him on your side. He's smart, he's well spoken, he knows the law, and he's not afraid to mix it up a little. He's your consummate criminal defense attorney. Someone just needs to show him the dark side.

If you aren't actually a criminal attorney, you may not have heard of this one. Gerry Spence is a real guy. He founded the trial lawyer's college, a place well known for grooming some of the best trial attorneys in America, both on the civil and criminal side (though always on the side of justice - you won't see any prosecutors here).

It's rumored that Gerry Spence has never lost a case in his life! I personally kind of find that hard to believe. I mean, even the best criminal defense lawyers will come across some stinkers every once in a while. Maybe he's never lost a jury trial. Or maybe he defines loss different than others. In any event, I've never heard anyone dispute that claim.

What makes Gerry great is his approach to trial. His specialty is jury selection, namely finding out who the jury is, getting them to really like him and his client (and appreciate their view point) and then connecting with them emotionally in such a way that they see the case from his point of view. It's a very emotional way to practice, but I've heard it's extremely effective.

I think if I every really needed someone to help me out, and I couldn't pick television characters, I'd probably pick this guy. I don't have any idea how good he is on the law. But I'll tell you this, the law doesn't matter much if you can get the jury to know, like, and trust your guy. And Mr. Spence does that as well or better than anyone out there.

I think we all know who Perry Mason is. He's the television actor who, in the late 1970's and early 1980's took on hopeless clients and hopeless cases and made them into winners. All of his cases are murder cases, who dun its, and his clients were always the ones who were fingered - at the beginning, that is.

After intense investigation by his associates and some great logical thinking, Perry Mason usually was able to find out who the real murderer was and then expose them. And best of all, the gotcha moment usually came on the stand in front of the jury! This is the show that singlehandedly has led jurors to believe there should be an aha moment in every trial (when in fact there usually is none).

The reason I like Perry Mason is because he works a case like every criminal lawyer should, at least if they had the kind of resources he did and the kind of luck he did (though you would be surprised at how much people want to talk). Lack of thorough investigation is probably the reason why most criminal cases are lost. And it's the reason you may want to think twice about hiring a public defender.

If I had to, I probably wouldn't take Perry Mason in real life. His dramatics are just too much from me. I want someone with the capability of ending the case early, and who will go to any lengths to make sure I get my charges dismissed. 

I'm a Seattle criminal lawyer, and I'm pretty young. That means I have people out there I'd love to be like if push came to shove. In the television world, that character is Alan Shore. He's an associate attorney at Crane, Poole, and Schmidt, a Boston law firm in the television show Boston Legal. You might know his partner, Denny Crane (played by Captain Kirk), a little bit better.

What Alan Shore has that every good criminal attorney needs is balls. He is not afraid to go out there and push for what he wants, get what he wants, and put leverage where it needs to be. He's also very smart, very knowledgeable about the law (at least television law, which is shifty), and charismatic all at the same time. Sure, he doesn't have to rule about the rules of evidence and criminal procedure when he's in front of the court or in front of the jury, but that's what makes him all the more enticing as a criminal attorney.

If you haven't seen Boston Legal, I'd encourage you to do it. It can be a bit vulgar at times, and the cases are sometimes a little out there, but the actions of the attorneys are great. If I were in trouble, particularly in television land, I'd definitely want Alan Shore at my side.